high expectations

i've been thinking about being a process-oriented guy. i think it's part of what made me a half-decent programmer, that, and i loved the logic and certainty of programming: x thru y always becomes z kinda thing. but at the tender age of 48 i'm learning that's not what the world is like, nor ever will be like, and probably never should be like.

it's very germanic of me to expect that things and people should be just so, very germanic, fascist, platonist, idealistic. yeah, that describes me. when i was twenty i was labeled a 'rule-prick' cuz in a game of Risk i cited some obscure rule to prove my point. now, i'm trying to put my life back together only to find, according to some, that my expectations are too high. just as there is no baby manual when your son or daughter is born, there are no published rules, like i expect.

the real world does not, will not, should not work like a computer program. now what do i do? some day our kids and grandkids will inherit what we've done. our legacy. or is that taking on too much, still? leave tomorrow for tomorrow--is that the answer (focus on the now), or is it the problem (shortsighted)?