home is where the heart is

part of suddenly becoming disabled--and after two years it's in some ways still a new thing--is gradually accepting the new me and learning to recognize the old me that's still there. that's really hard, even for me, who's in this body 24/7.

i'm an aries, which means i'm impetuous. which can be a good thing and it can be a bad thing. i often act without guile, but i'm also gullible. i can act quickly, faster than thought, but sometimes it's viewed as rash, thoughtless even.
 
my father hung a saying in mock german-english in his kitchen: 've get too soon oldt und too late schmardt.' i dunno. like louis armstrong sings in 'it's a wonderful world', 'i see babies cry, i watch them grow./they'll learn much more than i'll ever know.'

in the 'out of the cold' program i helped give a warm meal and refuge to the homeless, but here's something i haven't told anyone--i was homeless myself. i mean, i had a warm pillow, and a roof over my head, but where was home? i knew it had to be close to water for i've always lived within a mile or two of one of the great lakes. i thought i found home, in waubaushene, but i was wrong, almost dead wrong.

it took leaving here, and returning to my roots, to niagara, to find home---'you don't what you got 'til it's gone' sings joni, and maureen hainesworth reminds me 'home is where the heart is.'

stupid me. my heart has been here all along. like dante, why did i go astray, and go through hell to find heaven, to find home?